Do You Have to Feel Guilty? Parenting With Love and Logic

Do You Have to Feel Guilty? Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts   Dear Parent,   Do you think the following parents ought to feel guilty for their actions?   Parent A:   I said to my teenage daughter, "I wash clothes that are placed in the hamper." They've been lying in a heap in her room…so she doesn't have anything else to wear except her least favorite outfits.   Parent B:   My son was getting more irritable and defiant every day. It seemed related to how much time he was spending playing his video games. I took the video games and told him that I loved him too much to see him getting so addicted to them.   Parent C:   My ten-year-old asked for a cell phone. I let her know that she could have one when she could afford the entire cost…including the data plan.   Parent D:   Our 23-year-old son was sitting around all day watching television. We told him that we were fine with him living with us for a while if he was doing his best to finish school or get a job. He continued to be so disrespectful and lazy that we asked him to leave.   What do you think? Should these parents feel guilty for what they've done? Do you have to feel guilty when you set and enforce reasonable limits with your kids?   Of course not!   The goal is to set these limits in ways that allow us to go to bed each night knowing the following:   I did it out of love. I did it with as much empathy as I could muster. I did it because I care more about my child’s long-term wellbeing than my own short-term emotions.   Regardless of how they might react, you never have to feel guilty about giving your kids the gift of loving limits. For more tips on setting these limits, listen to our audio: Love Me Enough to Set Some Limits.   Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.   Dr. Charles Fay